


Humpty Dumpty

by Littlegirlgeek



Category: Code Lyoko
Genre: Dissociation, Explicit Language, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Instincts, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 05:43:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13496052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littlegirlgeek/pseuds/Littlegirlgeek
Summary: They were always at the end of their rope. Yumi dying slowly in the snow. Ulrich floating higher and higher until he couldn't breathe, couldn't see. A bus careening into the Seine River, a split second from contact with the water. It was always in the nick of time that they pulled it off, the edge of the end when they managed to turn back the clock and get their take two.How close to the end could they get before one of them paid for it?Ulrich pov, Odd-centric.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first love, Code Lyoko, is something I always return to no matter how long it has been since I've written in it. I had this idea forever ago, and recently it abruptly became a huge outlet for me, so I'm going to explore it for a while. 
> 
> Working title, I'm having trouble finding one that feels right. Might change it later.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Code Lyoko or any of it's properties.

A shriek cut through the darkness of the dorm room.

Ulrich bolted upright in bed with a start, his attention snapping to the source of the cry. His head was pounding-- it always did after a return to the past, like his body was physically fighting the return, pushing back against being jarred to his previous state and having all of those new memories crammed in his head.

It wasn’t the first time that time travel had hit him hard. It seemed worse when they came back to the middle of the night. Odd would often return sweating, stressed, a bit jittery. More than once Ulrich had caught him mid fall when they were suddenly back in their dorm room, safe and sound before the flavor of the week Xana-related mishap. Odd had always brushed it off, shoved Ulrich playfully- squeezing his arm gratefully as he pulled away- and tried to regain a sense of normalcy.

He seemed to be taking it worse tonight. This was the first time he had woken up screaming. 

The shriek itself was short, followed by shallow, fast breaths. It sounded remarkably similar to how Ulrich imagined someone being stabbed would. By the time he had thrown back his cover, Odd had already tumbled out of bed and was groping around the floor, whimpering and trembling, racking with wailing sobs. No sound had ever filled Ulrich with such dread, such complete horror and need protect, to comfort, to something. In the light spilling in from under the door, he could see hands tangled in a blanket and then Odd scrambling backward until he had backed up into his bed. He was trying to swallow the sobs but they kept bubbling up and bursting through one another until he was choking on them, looking around frantically and seeing nothing in the dark but shapes and shadows.

Ulrich was across the floor and dropping to his knees before he felt himself move. His hands went up cautiously, like cornering a frightened animal, meaning to soothe. His heart was pounding as hard as his head but he tried to force the pain and fear aside so he could focus.

“Odd,” he called urgently, once, twice. Odd continued to sob, looking around as if he couldn’t see Ulrich right in front of him. Like he was still somewhere else, Ulrich realized. “Odd!” He cried again, feeling himself colored by Odd’s panic, his head filling with terror.

Odd hadn’t been with them this time. He was left behind, trapped at the school trying to keep people safe while the rest of them fought Xana as their digital selves. They had lost contact with Odd only a few minutes before the return. 

They were always at the end of their rope. Yumi dying slowly in the snow. Ulrich floating higher and higher until he couldn't see, couldn't breathe. A bus careening into the Seine River, a split second from contact with the water. It was always in the nick of time that they pulled it off, the edge of the end when they managed to turn back the clock and get their take two. 

And every time, they wondered if this would be it-- the time they couldn’t save someone. The time when they lost.

He wondered if this is what it felt like.

Nothing he said got through to Odd. He was somewhere else entirely, trapped in his head, in whatever those final horrific moment’s had held for him after they lost contact. It could have been anything, Ulrich realized with a sinking stone in his gut. Anything could have been happening when they pulled him back. None of them had any idea how much of you had to be left to make it back through time, back to the safety of the few seconds before a tower activated.

His breath quickened and his throat tightened as if Xana’s grip were around it. What if Odd had finally lost his mind, the first of them to go?

Ulrich swallowed thickly through his panic, eyes darting around to make sure Odd wasn’t actually seeing things as he looked frantically around the room, his head moving so fast it made Ulrich’s own spin. Words weren’t reaching him. Ulrich reached out and clamped his hands down on Odd’s shoulders.

Odd started like he had been hit and another weak cry escaped him but his eyes finally locked onto Ulrich. Shock turned to recognition, but the fear remained. His eyes were wide and wild. The slightest whisper rasped out of his now raw throat, one that Ulrich didn’t recognize as his own name until Odd said it again stronger.

“Ulrich, I… they were… and I couldn’t, they were too far, and my legs--” Terror shattered into complete despair and tears bubbled up in his eyes. He began talking too fast, voice cracking and failing completely in places.

Ulrich’s head swam and pulsed. His chest vibrated with a heat that felt like it would swallow him up. He tried to shush Odd, his hands kneading gently as Odd’s own came up shakily to his elbows. It wasn’t his usual gentle thankful squeeze, but hanging on for dear life, gripping so hard that his nails dug in and Ulrich winced.

“I couldn’t- they were everywhere, fuck, Ulrich, I--” His fingers clenched tighter, desperate and clinging. 

Ulrich’s hands moved up to his neck, his cheeks, over his ears. He gripped and palmed all along the way, seeking to comfort but having no idea how, his whole body desperate to bring the boy down. He was talking too fast, he wasn’t making sense. 

“Odd, they’re fine, it’s okay now,” Ulrich said, not knowing if it was actually true. He let his hands rest on Odd’s cheeks and his thumbs caressed the rounded flesh below his eyes, smearing salty tears across Odd’s face. “It’s okay. You’re safe. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

He chanted it, and Odd took a shaking breath, stopping his onslaught of words to focus on a single uneven inhale. It rattled like something deep inside him had broken loose. For a second Ulrich had thought he had reached him, had pulled him from the dark.

And just like that, his face squeezed again, tightening at the corners before fresh tears burst forth like a dam breaking. Odd surged forward, throwing himself at Ulrich almost strong enough to knock the taller boy backward. Odd smothered his sobs in Ulrich’s chest, and Ulrich wrapped himself around him like a blanket, arms over his shoulders and hands in his hair and legs splayed around him like he could create a barrier of safety. He couldn’t help but rock gently, something that felt right even if he had never done it before, finding a rhythm that he tried to keep slow and steady, using it to fight the pounding in his chest.

He scratched his nails gently in Odd’s hair, pressing his cheek to the top of his head. He wasn’t sure he had been breathing because he took a shallow breath and it felt like it restarted his own heart. Like in his own distress, he had forgotten to breathe. He swallowed and tried again, wanting a deeper breath, thinking that if he could just calm himself down maybe Odd would feel it. His arms tightened, and he felt Odd’s tighten around his waist in response. He tilted his head, thoughts surging on a single point of interest, comfort, protect, soothe, fix it, just fix him. He pursed his lips into Odd’s thick hair, just an insistent press of his mouth.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered, and brushed his nose against Odd’s scalp, pressing his lips further back toward Odd’s ear. “I’ve got you, man, I’m right here. You’re okay.” He wasn’t sure if he was telling Odd or himself. Odd needed something he didn’t know how to give, but his body moved without him as if it knew. Save him, hold him, fix him. His grip tightened again and he kissed Odd’s forehead when the trembling boy shifted in his arms. “It’s okay,” he whispered again, hearing Odd’s shaking breaths as they slowed.

He kissed his forehead again and then his ear when Odd crawled further into his lap, pressing all of himself against him, and when Odd tucked his face into Ulrich’s neck and breathed him in, Ulrich pressed another kiss to his shoulder. He had no idea what he was doing, he just knew that it was what he wanted to do, that he was dizzy and his head hurt and his heart hurt and he wasn’t sure if he would ever feel okay again or if Odd would ever stop shaking.

And then Odd pulled away and Ulrich saw a face made of exhaustion and pain, and he pulled with the hand in Odd’s hair and pressed their lips together.

It was stronger than he expected- their teeth crashed, and for a second he thought he had surged forward before he realized it was Odd meeting him. Skinny pale arms came up from his waist and clammy hands rested on his shoulders. Odd’s nails dug into the side of his neck as he pressed harder against him, eyes scrunched tight and lips trembling and wet from tears. Their mouths moved in the dark, desperate and insisting. Ulrich found his hands searching for skin again, finding the skewed hem of Odd’s shirt and pushing it up to find the curve of his skinny hips. Odd’s tremors chilled under his touch, and Ulrich felt a new rush when Odd’s tongue brushed his bottom lip.

It was a gesture that, while never toward Ulrich before, felt very much like the Odd he knew on other nights, the one who hadn’t stumbled into the floor like a frightened animal, the one who had never straddled him and pressed himself against him the way he had seen some of Odd’s girlfriends do. He felt a surge of relief in a place in his mind that he couldn’t consciously access with Odd’s breath in his own mouth. And in response to that relief, he gripped Odd tighter and pulled. Odd sighed against his lips-- it sounded like a sigh, but it felt like a tsunami in his stomach as their mouths continued to move against each other.

It suddenly occurred to him, as the fuzz in his mind began to clear, that kissing Odd Della-Robbia was not a thing he had ever done, and the two pulled apart with an audible smack. Odd’s heaving breath sent a thrill down Ulrich’s spine, his hands kneading against the cold bare flesh under them.

They stared at each other for a long moment. Odd’s pupils were blown-- he looked dazed, animalistic, primal. His legs still had the slightest quiver, and Ulrich’s hands dropped instinctively to still them. Odd chilled instantly under his touch, eyes lidded, breath slowing. The crease still rested at his brow, tears still lingering in his glossy eyes but no longer streaming down his face. His hands had fallen to Ulrich’s chest, gripping his shirt as tightly as he had his shoulders.  
He was still desperate. Still clinging. The fear was still in the back of his eyes.

Exhaustion hit Ulrich like a lapping wave, gently pushing him at first, but threatening to bowl him over an instant later. He felt Odd’s grip tighten just slightly, a response to the sudden change in the air between them. Ulrich’s heart ached for his friend. His hands came up to cover the ones on his shirt. 

He didn’t want to say anything. He didn’t want to try to bring words into the new safety of the quiet dark. He didn’t want to break the spell. It felt like a risk, and one he wasn’t ready to take. So instead he tugged on Odd gently, beckoning him without words.  
Odd looked from Ulrich to the bed behind him and then back. Ulrich could see the exhaustion in his puffy eyes as Odd nodded sluggishly. Ulrich tried to offer a small smile and got a grip on the blanket in the floor.

It took a few minutes to get him there-- Odd’s legs shook like a fawn’s, as though he had never used them before-- but Ulrich reached the bed and climbed onto it, careful to keep one hand on Odd’s arm. Odd didn’t even hesitate to crawl in after him, sinking down on the mattress as Ulrich added the extra blanket over his first and tossed them over top of the two of them. Odd sank instantly into the pillow, facing Ulrich, his hands folded against his own chest.

It was a small, tight space, and not one Ulrich had ever shared before, but he refused to banish Odd back across the room-- not while he still needed him. Even if Odd had wanted to, Ulrich would have felt wrong about it, felt like he couldn’t protect him from 10 feet away.

So instead he crowded in close, propping himself up on one arm and letting the other curl protectively around Odd’s shoulder. There was still the slightest tremble, but only every so often. This close, Ulrich’s nose was pressed into Odd’s hair again, nestled into purple dye. It smelled like hair gel, with a slight souring of panic sweat to it. Ulrich took a deep breath anyway, focusing on the hair gel, reminding himself that Odd was okay, that he would be okay, that they were always okay.

And has he drifted off, sinking down until his head was against the pillow, he wondered if he was right.


	2. Chapter 2

Ulrich kept a closer eye on Odd the following week, always on the lookout for a sign of their bizarre and horrifying night. In the light of day, it was as if nothing had changed- if you weren’t paying attention you wouldn’t notice Odd gravitating closer to Ulrich, sitting shoulder to shoulder, always bringing an extra cup of coffee back with him from breakfast. If Ulrich hadn’t been looking for it, he knew he wouldn’t have given those little things a second thought.

It was the following Tuesday before there was another attack.

Ulrich found himself in one moment staring over the edge of a cliff, and the next, with a blinding flash of light, back in class that morning watching their History teacher lecture on early Czechoslovakia. He looked around the room- Jeremie and Aelita both gave him a relieved thumbs up from the back of the classroom. Emily was lost deep in her textbook- a welcome sight after watching her run from literal wolves all afternoon.

And then his gaze fell on Odd.

His roommate had completely lost his glow. His whole body seemed rigid, his hands in such tight fists that his knuckles were turning white. For lack of a better term, he looked like hell.

Ulrich’s hand went up before he really thought about it.

“Professor,” he said, his own voice sounding wrong. All eyes turned on him as he continued. “I think Odd’s going to be sick.”

Their history teacher gave a disappointed look, but when his eyes moved over to Odd, now bent forward over his desk, he sighed and nodded. “Go, go, both of you. Feel better, Mr. Della Robbia. Try to be back if you can, Mr. Stern. Chapter 6 if you can’t.”

Ulrich thanked him as he quickly collected his and Odd’s things. He waved to Jeremie and Aelita in what he hoped was a comforting, dismissive sort of way and carefully put his hands on Odd’s shoulders. Odd flinched but allowed himself to be pulled to his feet and lead out the door.

The infirmary was the next wing over, so instead of going all the way across the building, Ulrich guided Odd gently to the nearest bathroom. As they ducked inside Ulrich tried to remember all the details from this latest return.

Odd gave a shuddering breath, bracing himself on the sink. Ulrich was at his side immediately, discarding their bags and books on the countertop. He placed a tentative hand on Odd’s shoulder.

“You okay, man?” He offered. It came out softer than he meant. Less casual. He had really been trying for casual.

Odd swallowed a few times, trying to even his breathing. His fingers curled around the sink’s edge over and over. At Ulrich’s touch, he tilted his head. Ulrich answered the call on instinct, moving his hand further up Odd’s shoulder. Odd turned into the touch. His lips met the edge of fingers, reaching up to grab the hand as he turned further into it. His eyes were tight and dull. 

Ulrich’s heart skipped when Odd turned fully to him, stepping up into his space. The face was too familiar-- dazed and distant, and he instantly remembered the sound of heavy breathing in the dark-- and then Odd bowed his head and leaned forward into Ulrich’s shoulder. He nudged further in, pulling himself in close like he was trying to wrap himself up in Ulrich.

This wasn’t their dorm room. This was the high school wing. During the day. During class. Ulrich’s heart ran a mile a minute, knowing how this would look, able to see them in the mirror. But his need to protect was stronger than his fear of being found, and that same souring fear smell pulled him into Odd’s fog of thought. His arms went up around Odd’s slender shoulders, pulling him in closer until he was resting his cheek against Odd’s spiky hair.

Ulrich couldn’t think of what had happened this time to set him off the way he had been before. He had been unable to ask for details the first time, too afraid of what he would learn, or of sending Odd back into that dark place. When he had woken up alone, he had thought that would be the end of it. He wondered if maybe he had dreamed it. It had seemed entirely possible until now.

Odd was trembling in his arms again. The adrenaline spike came back, but before he could act on it, Odd struck first, tilting his head up to press his lips to Ulrich’s neck.

Ulrich gasped at the new contact, tightening his grip unintentionally. Odd pressed on, moving his lips gently, pressing little pecks closer and closer to Ulrich’s jaw, his other hand coming up to hold the other side of Ulrich’s neck. Ulrich pulled gently and abruptly, but Odd held tight.

“O-Odd, what-” Ulrich looked in the mirror. He could see Odd’s eyes, could tell that he was somewhere else, that same faraway place where Ulrich’s words weren’t reaching him.

Feeling more and more embarrassed, Ulrich realized, reluctantly, the only thing he could do to make things a little more private until he could pull Odd back to reality- so instead of pushing away again, he pulled the two of them awkwardly into the handicap stall. Odd came willingly, fixated on the stretch of skin between Ulrich’s shoulder and jaw.

“Odd,” Ulrich whispered tersely, letting a hand fall to Odd’s hip to push him back. He unintentionally opened the space for Odd to move more, and Odd immediately went from soft lips to sharp teeth, biting down on Ulrich’s neck.

Pain and heat spiked through Ulrich’s entire body and he cried out. It wasn’t playful; no, this was an extension of the primal look Ulrich had seen in him that first night. There was nothing sensual or wanting about it. It was pure need, a desperate attempt to find something solid to hold onto. His jaw was locked, teeth threatening to break skin, either unaware or unconcerned with the way Ulrich thrashed and attempted to escape.

Unable to think, feeling the puncture of teeth, Ulrich grabbed a fistful of Odd’s hair and pulled hard.

Odd whimpered and released Ulrich immediately, letting his head be jerked at the awkward angle and away from Ulrich. Ulrich was horrified to see the little bit of red in his open mouth- he had broken skin, true to the pain radiating from the spot on his neck.

“Fuck,” he whispered, hissing through his teeth as the waves of pain hit him. His head was spinning and for a second he thought he might buckle. Odd was prone in his grip, eyes still on Ulrich, still hazy and waiting for his hair to be released. His breath was slower. He seemed… almost calm now. Ulrich tugged his hair again threateningly, only barely able to contain the spike of anger. “What the fuck, Odd!”

Odd didn’t reply, another small yelp escaping him when Ulrich tightened his grip. It seemed to focus him. His eyes were losing their distance, like Ulrich was pulling him back down to Earth. Ulrich watched for the subtle changes in his features, still unsure that Odd wouldn’t come back in biting again.

The air had shifted from safety to control, but the effect it had on Odd seemed to be the same. Ulrich wasn’t sure why he saw relief in Odd’s face, or why his quiet heaving breaths made Ulrich’s grip tighten and loosen in Odd’s hair. All he knew was that, for now, his grip seemed to have the same calming effect that his kiss had had the first time. 

A flash of information he didn’t know he had flickered in Ulrich’s mind, and he acted on it out of curiosity more than faith. His free hand left Odd’s hip and went to the back of his neck. Odd tried to move his head to adjust against the new contact. Unsure it would work the way he imagined, Ulrich tightened his grip on the back of Odd’s neck. Not lightly. Hard. He held the back of Odd’s neck like he would have held the edge of the cliff.

Odd’s eyes fluttered for a second and closed. His shoulders relaxed and slumped, losing their tightness immediately. It was as if he melted at the touch. Mesmerized, Ulrich dug his nails in slightly, just enough to leave an impression. A sigh fell from Odd’s mouth, smooth and slow, and Ulrich saw his face soften considerably.

It was like Ulrich had flipped a switch. Odd immediately calmed like a soothed beast, changing back into his roommate from the threatened animal he had been only moments ago. Ulrich flexed his fingers in Odd’s hair again, massaging instead of pulling like he had moments before.

With the tension gone, Odd pressed forward again, eyes still closed, and put his arms around Ulrich, pressing back against his chest the way he had been before he had gone feral. Ulrich flinched, afraid he would latch on again, but when he found Odd so much softer, he relaxed into it as well, encircling Odd’s shoulders once again. He sighed, bringing up a hand to wipe at his pulsing neck.

His fingers came back with traces of blood, and the sight made him tense again. Now it seemed like they actually needed to go to the infirmary. How was he going to explain this to anyone, let alone the nurse? He flushed at the thought of any number of things he could say. None of them would be fun, and probably all of them would get him in some sort of trouble.

After a few minutes of silence, both of them coming down from the intensity of the situation, Ulrich squeezed Odd’s shoulders once and pushed back. Odd went away willingly this time, his hands going up to scrub his own face. Ulrich slipped out of the handicap stall and went straight to the sink.

He winced at the sight of himself in the mirror. It was worse than he thought-- two bold red springs of blood, with a few little nicks in between them from less impressionable teeth, surrounded by a purpling bruise. He tried to keep the pain from coming back at the sight of it, newly aware of the breadth of the injury. Trying to calm himself down, he turned on the sink to wash his hands.

“Did I-?”

Ulrich started at the quiet voice behind him. It was good to hear Odd talking, but unexpected. He saw Odd in the mirror, eyes stuck on his own face, a hand coming up to touch the trace of blood left on his lip. Ulrich’s heart gave a squeeze, but he pushed it back and opted for anger.

“Yeah dude.” He said dismissively. “You did.” He didn’t want to yell at him. Not yet. He could scold Odd later, when he was sure he wouldn’t drift away again. 

Odd didn’t groan, or laugh, or make a joke to brush it off. Instead his head dropped and he nodded slightly, looking just as exhausted as he had the first time, as exhausted as Ulrich had ever seen him. Ulrich regret the little he had said immediately, and instead focused on wetting a paper towel to wipe his neck off.

“I didn’t-”

“Know what you were doing,” Ulrich finished. He hissed again as he wiped down his neck. “I know.”

Odd came up slowly beside him. Ulrich cast a sidelong glance at him and watched as he licked the blood from his teeth, wincing at himself in the mirror. It was entrancing, the time he took to explore, the confusion as he watched himself in the mirror, the slight pinch of his nose when his tongue first found blood. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand to wipe away any remaining traces. He looked around as if he had yet to really see where they were.

“Do you..” Ulrich wasn’t sure he wanted to ask. “Do you know where we are?” It was easier to say than _‘Do you know what happened?’_

Odd nodded slowly, his eyes guiding over the door and back to the stalls, still coming down from his bizarre headspace. “Boy’s bathroom.” His brow pinched. “Weren’t we in class?”

“I thought you might be-” _About to lose your mind again, about to fall apart,_ “feeling like you did before, so I said I was taking you to the infirmary.”

Odd nodded again, just a slow bob of his head. He put his hands in the sink and turned it on, watching the water cascade over his now still hands. Every move he made was sluggish, like he was fighting against gravity. 

Ulrich knew he wouldn’t ask if he had too long to think about it.

“Do you remember the attack?” Ulrich blurted out.

Odd stilled instantly, but recovered almost quick enough that Ulrich didn’t catch it. Almost. Odd nodded, brought a wet hand up to his face and rubbed his cheek. “Yeah,” he mumbled, his eyes scrunching shut as he thought. “Yeah it was no big deal.”

“Bullshit.”

Their eyes met. Ulrich felt anger bubbling up, but he tried to push it down. He wanted compassion, but talking this way was hard. Not thinking about his neck was hard. Not thinking about Odd’s mouth against him desperate and seeking. There were too many things to not think about for him to focus.

Odd shook his head. His movements were becoming more and more Odd like, returning to a normal speed and tone. “It. It wasn’t anything new. I just.”

He struggled with his words and something inside Ulrich buckled. He pulled Odd back into his arms- more casual, more like a normal hug they would share after a holiday away from friends. An arm around his shoulders, a hand patting his back.

“I know,” he said. He didn’t. And he didn’t want to yet. And he was pretty sure Odd knew that too, because he hugged back, a gentle squeeze before they broke apart and tried for a comforting look at one another.

Odd inhaled and exhaled, and it was as if he had expelled the person that was there before. Now he leaned forward and prodded the purpling bruise, careful to avoid the open holes.

“Damn, dude, I’m sorry. I had no idea my teeth were so sharp.”

Ulrich laughed, but it came out my like a bark, and he shoved Odd’s shoulder. “Yeah, I didn’t either, you prick. I just hope Yolanda isn’t feeling like much of a gossip this week.”

“What are you going to say?” Odd collected their things, offering Ulrich his bag, which he took by the loop at the top.

“I have no idea,” he replied, “But if she’s out of office, maybe we can get in and out before she gets back.”

Odd grinned-- it wasn’t perfect, but it was a far stretch from moments ago. The fear and regret was only barely visible behind it. “Oh yeah, let’s do that. If she is there, let’s try for some covert supply rescue so we can avoid the paperwork.”

The two discussed their game plan as they left the bathroom.

 

Ulrich had managed to keep the bite hidden, passing it off as an unfortunate and wacky series of events; “Well I tripped, knocked into another student who also tripped, and we both fell down the stairs and I landed on her protractor. Trust me, you don’t want to see it.”

Jeremie and Aelita sympathized and carried on, but Ulrich could tell Yumi was quietly skeptical about some of his details. He would be forever grateful that she didn’t push the issue, and let it slide with a wary glance before she broke off for her own classes after lunch. Odd much too enthusiastically insisted that he saw the whole thing. The student he described got more and more attractive with every description.

After finishing the day with minimal issue, Odd avoided Ulrich for the full Wednesday after.

Ulrich let him have his space. He wasn’t ready to talk about it either.

The following few days got back to normal, the same way they always did. The weather was getting warmer- It was almost summer. Exams were only a few weeks away and after that they had free reign to spend a few weeks however they wanted.

Not too far, of course. They couldn’t leave Xana unattended.

Saturday was a slow day. Only two classes ran in the morning, so their weekend officially started at noon. Jeremie had convinced the whole lot of them to spend some time studying in the library since exams were fast approaching.

When Odd got up to stretch his legs and find some extra resources, Ulrich hopped up after him with the same excuse. He caught up to Odd as the shorter boy hit the reference section, just past historical accounts. He couldn’t put it off forever, and this felt less like backing Odd into a corner than it would in their shared room.

“What kind of essay requires 7 different sources?” Odd complained, eyes scanning the shelves as he mosied down the long aisle. Ulrich chuckled.

“Hey, Odd?” Ulrich started. He saw Odd’s neck tighten, but the blond didn’t bat an eye.

“What’s up?” Odd asked. His disarming smile almost backed Ulrich off on principle.

Ulrich shook himself free of his hesitance and pressed forward. “About what happened,” His hand shot up to scratch the edge of the bandage on his neck. “Can we talk?”

Odd’s spirit flipped 180. The smile dropped off his face and his whole body stiffened, hand stilling on the shelf next to him, bracing him. He squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m sorry,” He muttered. “I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I hurt you, I don’t even remember how it happened-”

“Hey, hey,” Ulrich whispered, reaching out to grab Odd’s shoulders. He squeezed reassuringly, trying to make Odd look at him, offering an uncertain smile. “I know you didn’t mean to. It’s not that bad.”

Odd started to protest, but Ulrich cut him off. “Seriously, Odd. It looked worse than it was.”

Odd sighed and shook his head, staring at his shoes. “I can’t believe I bit you. Like, BIT you, bit you. What kind of freak does that? I just…” Odd looked up, wincing, looking for reassurance in Ulrich’s face. “Why can’t I remember it anymore?”

That caught Ulrich off guard. “Remember what?”

Odd bit his lip. “I can’t remember when we come back.”

That made some sense. Ulrich started to answer but Odd kept talking, his terse whisper rising in volume as he went. “I mean I remember feelings. I… I know I’m terrified when it happens. And I remember what was happening before. But it’s like a blackout. It’s like I’m coming back later than you guys, but I know that isn’t how it works, so what is happening to me that I’m freaking out so bad?”

Ulrich shushed him, looking around for a sign of anyone. Odd gave one final exasperated sigh, looking at Ulrich with shame. “I drew blood, Ulrich. YOUR blood. And I don’t even remember it.”

Ulrich offered a sympathetic smile and turned to the bookshelf. “That… that actually makes sense.”

Odd was flabbergasted. “How does that make sense!” He exclaimed. Ulrich almost laughed, but swallowed it down.

“I’ve been doing some research since…” He coughed, seeing the confusion in Odd’s look. “Since the first time it happened. I think you’re dissociating.”

“Oh.” Odd blinked. His eyes seemed heavy. “Yeah, that… that makes sense. So you think it’s like a coping mechanism?”

Ulrich was surprised he was familiar with it already, but decided that was a line of questioning for another day. He didn’t want to lose track of where he was. “Exactly, yeah. I think it started as a panic attack, and your body reacted with something that it recognizes as comfortable and safe. Like it’s too much, so you default to something you know.”

Odd’s cheeks pinked, but he ignored it well. “So… so what do I do? How do I fix it?”

“I..” Ulrich focused on the books again, fingering the spine of a hefty book on the French Revolution. “I don’t know. I think the best thing you can do is try to ground yourself. Which,” Ulrich swallowed and gestured to his neck. “Is what I think you were trying to do here. And the night before.”

“Wha- ‘Night before’? Is that-” Odd’s cheeks lit up and the pink spread to his ears like wildfire. “I woke up with you. What did I-” He tangled his hands in his own hair, eyes widening. “What did I do?”

“N-nothing,” Ulrich lied, obviously. “You just-”

“ _Ulrich_ ,” There was a sharpness in Odd’s voice that Ulrich had only heard a handful of times. He got up close, his hands coming up to grip Ulrich’s collar. “ _What did I do_?”

Ulrich hesitated, and for a split second his eyes darted down to Odd’s mouth before they came back up to his eyes. Odd’s eyes widened and he pushed away like he had been stung. What started as a groan turned into words as he shoved his palms against his eyes. “Oh, God. Ohhh my god, I took advantage of you.”

Ulrich snorted and then cleared his throat, but not before Odd could shoot him a dirty look. Ulrich waved his hands defensively, trying not to laugh. “You- you really didn’t, Odd, honestly-”

“Stop brushing this off!” Odd snapped. “I took a freaking chunk out of you and you brushed that off, too! Why aren’t you mad at me?” 

“Odd, I invited you to bed with me.” Ulrich turned the same color as Odd. “I mean-- You didn’t make me do anything-- that is, we didn’t do anything. It was just a kiss-”

“We _kissed?_ ”

“Well technically I-- listen, that doesn’t matter.” Ulrich squeezed his eyes shut, trying to shake off all of the tangents and retrace his steps. “The point is- you’re reaching out. You are trying to hold onto reality. And it seems like the way you are doing it is very…” Ulrich swallowed, trying and failing to find a different word before saying “..physical.”

Odd squinted past Ulrich at the wall behind him. “This has to be a fever dream.”

Ulrich ignored him. “Something is happening to you, Odd. The stress is going to turn your brain to mush. And your brain is fighting back. I don’t think that’s a bad thing.”

Odd closed his eyes and touched his forehead like he was calling someone telepathically. “Yes, I must be in a hospital bed somewhere.”

“ _The point is,_ ” Ulrich accentuated. He sighed. He had reached the end of his speech. That was the important part. Whether or not Odd listened didn’t change the finale. “I’m not going anywhere. And I'll do whatever I can for you.” He turned away to return to their table. “Whatever it takes to make sure you're okay.”

He didn’t wait for an answer and returned to their study group with his new book in hand.

Odd appeared almost ten minutes later with a hefty stack of reading material. He punched Ulrich’s shoulder gently and then sat down to continue whining about his essay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey thanks for reaching the end of chapter two. I wrote the first few chapters in pretty much one run, so its hard to figure out exactly where I should break them up. Makes it feel like kind of an odd ending for this one.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, comments are always appreciated.
> 
> ~Geek

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'll be posting at least a few more chapters, but I would love any feedback you all have to offer. Comments really get me motivated to write, and are always appreciated.
> 
> Love and care for you guys. 
> 
> ~Geek


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